The actual details of your divorce, while they are a large part of what you are going through, are far from everything. Divorce is often referred to as the most traumatic thing that someone can go through besides dealing with the death of a loved one. How you get through the process can determine what your life is like after the divorce. One of the roles of a family law attorney is to counsel clients going through challenging times. So, here are six tips for people getting through a divorce.
Build a Support Network
When you are going through a divorce, you need a strong support network of people who can listen and talk to you. It does not have to be a large network, but you need listening ears that are helpful. Your support network should consist of people who are calm and rational and do not try to rile you up further. Instead, they should be people who will listen but will also tell you when you can do something better than you’re currently doing it.
The worst thing is to try to go through a divorce alone. It is completely acceptable to lean on family and friends during this process. You are not expected to have all the answers and be able to deal with everything. Just having someone to listen to you can help you through the bad days when your mind may not be in a good place. Make sure you limit your support network to those people who actually constructively support you.
Focus on the Task at Hand
Divorce is not a time to make any major life changes. Divorce itself is enough of a major life change. Many people fall into the trap of trying to think out into the future, and they end up in a panic. The present is where you must focus your energies. Your thoughts should revolve around getting yourself through the present, as opposed to thinking about the future because that will only add more worry. You should have a belief that things will be better in the future once you get through the divorce process. Too much focus on the future can introduce unnecessary anxiety into the present. You should worry about one thing at a time.
Do Not Make Any Other Major Life Decisions
Divorce itself is enough of a major life decision without having to make any other ones during this time. When you are going through a divorce, you are not always thinking as clearly as you can because you are rightfully focused on the present. If you make major decisions during the divorce, you are not necessarily making them from a position of strength. Instead, you may be making choices from a position of panic. When you make decisions while other things are going on in your life, there is far more of a chance that you could make a mistake.
Get Professional Help
You may be stuck in an endless feedback loop in your own head. Divorce is undoubtedly a difficult time, and you need an outside perspective from an objective observer whose job it is to listen to you and point out things that you may not have considered. Seeing a therapist during a divorce is in no way a sign of weakness. On the contrary, admitting that you need extra help is a sign of strength.
A counselor could give you strategies for coping with this large change in your life. They could help you change the way you are seeing the divorce and how you are handling things. Especially since your health insurance is likely to cover mental health care (but you should make sure it does), there is little to lose and everything to gain from seeing a therapist during the divorce process and afterward.
Hire an Experienced Attorney
It may seem counterintuitive that an attorney could actually help you emotionally; however, you need to consider exactly what your divorce attorney does as part of the divorce process. They are here to handle the details. Think of what may happen if you did not have a lawyer working for you. Every day would be spent wading into the negotiations and the back-and-forth with your spouse. You would not be able to take care of yourself emotionally because you would be immersed in the stress and potential conflict.
Hiring an attorney frees up some of your bandwidth to take care of yourself. We are not saying that working with a family law firm will take away all of your stress, but we are saying that you will have a level of insulation because your lawyer will work on the details and handle communications with the other attorney, eliminating some of the burdens on you. This will free you up to take care of yourself. Contact our office today for more information on how we can assist you.